April202014

whenever i try and learn something new

  • me: It seems that I am not immediately excellent at this
  • me:
  • me:
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: it is because I am a failure
  • me: everything I touch dies
9AM

I think I broke Harry Potter

frauleindrosselmeyer:

karlosmadera:

So it’s 3AM and It’s just occurred to me that the most telling scene in the entire Harry Potter franchise is the scene following the announcement of the participants of the Triwizard tournament.

When Harry’s name is pulled out of the cup, literally one of the first things he is asked is “did you ask an older boy to put your name in the cup for you?" or something to that effect, insinuating that, that was something nobody prepared for and that it was something that totally would have worked if anyone had been smart enough to figure it out.

However, in an earlier scene a student is turned into a hundred year old man when they try to artificially age themselves with a potion and put their name into the cup. Meaning someone trying to dangerously age themselves with potion they aren’t familiar with was something the teachers genuinely considered to be more likely than someone asking for fucking help from another student.

image

In other words, the wizards in Harry Potter’s world are so reliant on magic that it doesn’t occur to anyone save for people like Harry that asking for help is even an option in a given situation. This explains why wizards are so fucking ass-backwards at everything, they’re so confident that their magic is capable of doing everything for them that it has never occurred to fucking anyone that perhaps asking for help from the muggle world might be of some use.

Think about it, the wizarding world hasn’t changed in hundreds of years while in that same space of time the muggle world has figured out fucking space travel. I know it’s a cliché to say to say someone could have fucking shot Voldemort, but seriously, somebody totally fucking could have, he killed like 50 people, he was effectively a terrorist, if anyone in the wizarding world bothered to ask for help from the muggles instead of just telling them there was an invisible asshole flying around shooting death curses at everyone, they may have been able to help. 

Pretty much the only reason Voldermort thinks he’s better than muggles is because he’s able to kill them with impunity using magic, something he’s only able to do so easily because muggles don’t understand what magic is. Voldemort is basically like a fucking disease, he’s an invisible, lurking entity preying on mankind from the shadows like a cowardly piece of shit. You know what else did that? Smallpox and we stomped that to death the second we understood it. That’s the difference between muggles and wizards, when muggles don’t understand something, they figure it out.

And here’s the kicker, the only reason muggles don’t understand magic at all is because the wizarding world deliberately withholds information about it. However, even if the wizarding world kept doing that, it’d only be a matter of time until a muggle figured out what magic was and how to stop or harness it because that’s what humanity does, it pushes past what we think is impossible to see what’s on the other side. We didn’t understand the sun as a species originally and now we use it to power satellites and smartphones.

The wizarding world isn’t a realm of infinite possibilities, it’s a universe of strict limitations where boundaries are never questioned. The muggle world is where the real magic happens. That’s why during the course of the Harry Potter books, which are set between 1991 and 1998, the muggle world (our world) discovered dark matter, cloned a sheep and invented fucking MP3s while the wizarding world were literally paying some dipshit to figure out what the purpose of a rubber duck was.

image

Wow, I really shouldn’t think about this stuff when it’s like 3AM, it gets kind of dark.

This is SO great, but it went in a completely different (and less dark) direction from where I thought it would:

"Meaning someone trying to dangerously age themselves with potion they aren’t familiar with was something the teachers genuinely considered to be more likely than someone asking for fucking help from another student."

…yeah, that’s pretty telling.  Think about that for a second.  Think about the kind of toxic climate Hogwarts - and the British Wizarding World in general - must be, if “having an older friend you can trust" is an idea so out of left-field that even Dumbledore wouldn’t have prepared for it.

If my hypothetical kids got Hogwarts letters, I’m not sure I’d want to send preteens to that sort of school.

(via anhaga)

9AM

nomorefallingallifrey:

ducktrainer:

saemiligr:

dear-monday:

So we know it’s JK’s headcanon that Dudley has a magical child, right? Imagine his kid starting to show signs of magic and Dudley remembering all the odd things that used to happen around Harry. Imagine his kid coming home from Hogwarts and being all, “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME UNCLE HARRY WAS FAMOUS?” Imagine Dudley reading up on Harry and finding out about all the stuff he did and all the things that happened to him and struggling to grasp how his scrawny, speccy cousin saved the wizarding world. Imagine Dudley, white-faced with terror at his first big family get-together with Harry, Hermione and all the remaining Weasleys. Imagine Mrs Weasley being decidedly cool towards him until he eats fifth helpings of everything she cooks and telling her that she’s the best cook he’s ever met. Imagine Dudley meeting Fleur. Imagine the others embarrassing Harry by telling Dudley stories about him. Imagine Dudley and Harry going down the pub together for beers. Imagine Harry still calling him Big D. Imagine Dudley cheerfully never dieting ever again and being fat and happy forever THE END.

This makes me absurdly happy

did they just made me happy about DUDLEY

all the remaining Weasleys

(via destiel-canyounot)

9AM

6539milesofloveapart:

abomasnow:

girls are amazing i just watched my friend change 8 times before picking an outfit you girls are so dedicated to looking good i can’t believe there are men out there sitting in their cum stained sweatpants trying to tell you what you’re allowed to wear

thank you

(via weeping-arch-angel)

9AM

superdoctorstarkidpotterlock:

DO YOU EVER SEE SOMETHING SO POORLY WRITTEN THAT YOU ACTUALLY REWRITE IT IN YOUR HEAD AS YOU’RE READING ALONG

(via illuminatorium)

9AM

pixieontherox:

Please don’t be angry with people for not understanding something. Explain to them. Educate them. Inform them. Do not yell and call them names. Because they will still not comprehend. Except now, they are hurt. And you are the asshole.

(Source: pixieffect, via destiel-canyounot)

9AM

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

whyismyurlsolong3:

marvelous-gallifrey:

myotpisgay:

irethinglorion93:

myotpisgay:

Okay, doesn’t dan look like a young CROWLEY?

welp

HOLY SHIT WHAT

First we have Cousin Matt and now we have Dan

Yep

WHOA MAN

(via weeping-arch-angel)

9AM
c-oo-l-potatoes:

Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass and I’m home bound.

c-oo-l-potatoes:

Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass and I’m home bound.

(Source: myleeneklass, via weeping-arch-angel)

9AM

vaniccio:

i struggle between wanting to stay up late and wanting extra hours of sleep

(via weeping-arch-angel)

9AM
nohighs:

YOU REALLY THINK A FUCKIN PANCAKE IS GONNA FIX THIS HEATHER

nohighs:

YOU REALLY THINK A FUCKIN PANCAKE IS GONNA FIX THIS HEATHER

(via weeping-arch-angel)

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